I was inspired by the 200th anniversary of the Expedition of American explorers Lewis and Clark. In 1804 Captains William Clark and Meriwether Lewis set off from the St. Louis area on a journey called the Corps of Discovery. Its goal was to explore the uncharted territory west of the Mississippi river that would become the United States. Americans have always been fascinated by the West and drawn to exploring the other side of the mountain, where they thought they could find riches and new valleys covered with greener grass to settle on. So I decided to embark on my own expedition of discovery. My goal was to explore all 50 states, Mexico and Canada. During the journey I planned to discover my ancestors. I wanted to find out what part they played in settling the new world. I hoped to draw on the lessons learned by these, and other, great people in our Nation's history. I wanted to find out what could help me in my quest to find meaning and purpose in my life. Little did I know what great and exciting discoveries would be awaiting me. Lewis and Clark planned to go across the American West bound for the Pacific Ocean. They set off on their journey in the spring of 1804. Two hundred years later, in the spring of 2004, I was now embarking on my own expedition.

One interesting participant in the expedition was a Newfoundland dog named Seaman. His value to the explorers is well documented in many historical accounts of the journey. I would have my Beagle dog Dudley go with me. In fact, Dudley would be my only companion for most of my travels. My journey would be much more extensive than the original expedition. My journey would take me to all 50 states. I planned to travel from Boston to Monterrey, Mexico. I then would travel through the Southwest before heading back to New England and then to Canada. I would travel back through the Midwest to pick up the Lewis and Clark trail, through the western states and on to Oregon and the Pacific Ocean. I finally would head back across the entire United States and back to Boston and the Atlantic Ocean. To encompass all 50 states, Alaska and Hawaii would require separate journeys. My expedition would cover over 23,000 miles not including the air miles to fly to Alaska and Hawaii compared with the original Lewis and Clark total of 8,000 miles. Every explorer is prepared for their challenges by their upbringing, that is, personal values, education, leadership skills and vocational abilities. As I prepared to take on my expedition of discovery, it was important for me to take stock of the personal traits that would contribute to the successful completion of my upcoming challenge. In the spring of 2004, I felt uninspired by my career. I had been working in non-profit youth organizations for 30 years. Often, petty politics, shady fundraising and personal agendas detracted from the real mission of these organizations-and this frustrated me. I felt myself falling into a deep mistrust of organization authorities. Knowing that I was tearing myself down from the inside out, I decided to jump off this career track. I resigned my job as executive director of a recognized youth organization to find a new cause that I could believe in.

I had grown up in the 60s and 70s. It was a time of mistrust in our government. The Kennedys and Martin Luther King had been assassinated. Everyday, the disastrous Vietnam War was in the news. The Vice-President and President had resigned. Students were protesting everything from Vietnam to the exploitation of migrant farm workers. There were race riots on the streets of America's cities. Corporate America's priority was profit at the expense of concern for our environment. Polluted lakes and rivers and global warming were all results of our abuse of the earth that we must all live on. As a young man, growing up in this environment, I desperately searched for an anchor in this sea of chaos and lies. Now, as an adult, I was coping with my own questions of personal direction. I was wrestling with disillusionment in my work life and the direction our country was taking. The war on terror now included pre-emptive wars. We were now in a war based on fabricated lies. Politicians constantly tried to pit one group against the other - abortion against pro-life, creative design against evolutionists, Christian right against left wing liberals, blacks against whites, everybody here legally against illegal aliens. I needed to find myself. I needed to lift myself out of the confusion and chaos of my personal life. I needed to embark on a journey of discovery to find a path that would renew and inspire me.

When I was deathly ill five years earlier, the one image in my mind as I went in and out of consciousness, was Padre Island in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas. I could smell the salt water breeze. I could see the bright sun reflecting off the Gulf of Mexico surf. I could see and hear the seagulls as they flew down the white sandy beach. I also had a song ringing in my head. It was a song from the 1989 movie called "Midnight Cowboy." In this movie, the character played by Dustin Hoffman, had a last wish to get to a place where the sun keeps shining. The character played by Jon Voight helps him to attain his dream by traveling across America to Florida. When he finally gets to his destination, he dies. There is a song about this odyssey called "Everybody's Talkin" sung by Nilsson. This was the song that I kept hearing in my mind while doctors frantically called a "Code Blue." Code Blue is called when a patient is slipping into critical condition and life support is needed immediately to save a life. As doctors swarmed around me giving transfusions and oxygen, I was, in my mind, on the beach at Padre Island. As the doctors were working to keep my heart beating, I was walking into the surf on the beach. The waves were hitting me in the chest and a brilliant sun was shining on me. I could hear the song's lyrics,
"Everybody's talking at me. I don't hear a word they're saying, only the echoes of my mind. I'm going to where the sun keeps shining through the falling rain. Going where the weather suits my clothes. Banking off the northeast winds, sailing on summer breeze, skipping over the ocean like a storm."

I have been to Texas more times than I can remember, but I had not been back here since that fateful day that my life began to slip away. I wanted to surprise my parents, so I had not told them that I was coming to visit. When I got to their house I was filled with emotions. I knocked on the door. I couldn't wait to see the look on their faces. They weren't there. My surprise didn't seem to be working. I figured they went to the store or something and they would be right back. After waiting a couple of hours, they still had not returned. Since I had been waiting so long to get back here, I decided why wait any longer to get to the beach. So, I headed straight to the most secluded beach in the area. It is a place called Boca Chica. I drove up on the beach. There wasn�t a soul there. This beach has no facilities, stores, or lifeguards. It is one of the few places left in the country where you can see what a beach looked like hundreds of years ago. Dudley and I ran along the beach enjoying our private paradise. It was the most beautiful day I could wish for. The sun was hot and brilliant. I got my fishing gear out and did some surf fishing. After a while Dudley got too hot and retreated to the shade underneath the truck. I guess I just wanted to enjoy every minute of this long sought after day. I didn�t notice how severely the sun was burning me. After a while, I decided that it was too hot to stay any longer, so we headed back to Harlingen to see if my lost parents had returned. I then realized that I had stayed in the sun too long because I could feel the pain of a red hot sunburn.

I went back up to their house and found they still were not there. I was worried that something might be wrong and called some family members to find out, but no one knew anything. Finally, as I waited outside, a neighbor came out and asked me what I was doing there. She told me that my parents had gone to a friend's beach house at Padre Island. I was near them, but had no idea how to find them. I knew they were both not well, so it surprised me that they were not at home. My Dad was undergoing radiation treatment for cancer. My Mother was barely able to walk after a fall. Dudley and I waited for their return. The next day my parents returned. I decided to just walk in and see surprise them. When my Mother saw me she thought I was the landscaper. I finally said, "Mom, it's me, Mike." She said, "Mike? Mike who?" I said Mike, your son. She said, "How can you be Mike, he's up in Boston." She thought I was a ghost or something. Finally, I went over and hugged her and she recognized me. She yelled to my Father to come out of the bedroom. She said, "Lee, you're not going to believe this. It's Micheal." They were so happy to see me. We had a nice time talking about my journey. I told them my plans to go to Mexico to trace our family history. In conversations with my Father, I learned that the Mayor of San Benito, Texas, was a distant relative. My father generally doesn't know or care too much about his family history, but I did get out of him that he remembered some family from his father's side when he was growing up in Harlingen, Texas. My father said he had an uncle on his father's side of the family named Augustine Gonzalez Castillo. I was anxious to start on the family history part of my journey. Even though I don't speak Spanish, it was like pulling teeth to get any help from my parents, especially in helping me to contact people who prefer to speak Spanish, or can't speak English at all. I knew my lack of fluent Spanish would be a major obstacle, but I was not about to let anything stop me in my quest. In order to get started I figured I would start with the Mayor of San Benito since he spoke English in his capacity as Mayor. He has been Mayor for 22 years. I made an appointment with his secretary by phone. He called me back and said he remembered my father. He said that he was interested in finding out more about our family connection. When I got to his office, I found a modern building with nicely decorated professional surroundings. When the Mayor came in he was dressed in blue jeans and a cowboy shirt. He was a white haired, tall, rugged looking man about 74 years old. Mayor Cesar Elizondo Gonzalez welcomed me. We went into his office and he told me what he knew about his family history. His father, Augustine, was born about 1892 and died in 1944. He married Guadalupe Elizondo. They were in the meat market grocery store business. The family businesses were the Gonzalez Cattle company, L& B Meat Wholesalers, and the La Villita Meat Market. Both his parents were from Santa Maria La Florena, Mexico. This is the same small town in Mexico that my grandparents are from. They had three children; a girl named Ida, a son named Jesus, and a third son, Augustine Jr. Augustine Jr. was the mayor's father. The mayor's mother, Guadalupe Elizondo, had four brothers, Jesus, Frederico, Francisco, and Filiberto. All I could tell from this conversation was that we were probably related through his mother, Guadalupe Elizondo. Even though my father called the Mayor's father, Augustine, "his uncle," I don't think he was an uncle. I have learned that Mexicans sometimes call older cousins "uncle." I did not know the exact relationship, but the Mayor did not know very much about his family history, either. I thanked him and told him that I would let him know if I was able to unravel the family history when I got to Mexico. I have since heard that my cousin had a stroke and has retired as Mayor. He is recovering well and is enjoying his retirement with his wife, Chelo, visiting with his four children and many grandchildren. While in Harlingen, I went to the local library which had an extensive genealogy section to find out more about the Lozanos in the area. It was here that I began to learn about how the Lozanos ended up in this part of Texas. I also began to learn about the history of Mexico in relation to the Lozano family settlement in the United States.

PRAISE FOR "LOOKING FOR GREENER GRASS":

I've seen on TV, on the "American Experience," the story of Lewis and Clark. While I may not like the end result, the downfall of the Indians, the story is about as great as one can get! I really enjoyed and appreciate your spirit of adventure. I had my share of them, but not nearly as bold and ambitious as yours. Fine writing, Class A!
- Frank Sifuentes, Con Safos Magazine and Nuestra Familia Unida Podcast

I cannot begin to tell you how informative your work is to the family. You keep it up and you may become a Lozano legend!
- Noe Lozano, Associate Dean and Director, School of Engineering, Stanford University

I've enjoyed reading your book very much. My first impression is that it could be a made for TV movie. You are very descriptive. I feel like I am going on the journey with you.
- Rose Stipanov Lozano, First Cousin

Excellent work, Mike. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I'm proud of you!
- Ruben Lozano, First Cousin

Hey Primo, Two thumbs up! Good work. I wish I could have been with you.
- Ralph Lozano, First Cousin

Everything I've read so far has been very interesting. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work. You are a very determined person and I admire your many strengths and for that I am very proud of you.
- Lupe Lozano, Widow of my cousin, Rudy Lozano, Latino civil rights leader